So welcome back.
And in this video we're going to be doing something just a little bit different.
We're going to do the first demonstration.
Of course urns.
We have a willing test subject.
My darling wife Karen.
Say hi to everybody at home.
Karen there.
Hello there.
There we go.
Right.
So what we're going to be demonstrating in this video fauria is a series of questions we can ask other
people to help establish the roots of any problematic beliefs at the half.
This essentially is very very simple believe it or not.
And what you're going to find in the additional material section of this video is the actual list of
questions that I'm going to be asking current no.
So all that I'm really going to ask you to observe right now is how I'm asking currer the questions
but also how it is that I'm asking current answer because when we are coaching other people we're looking
to establish what's true all the time.
And by you know we already know there's this whole other realm isn't there.
People's opinions and feelings and thoughts and beliefs.
And when someone starts forks in and all that stuff is going to be very very easy for us to get lost
in the story.
And if we get lost in the story for example inside of someone else's head because we don't understand
the nature of the story and we were in there to experience it is kind of irrelevant for us in relation
to establishing what is true for another person.
So I make sense if you still with me.
So these questions are designed to pinpoint the exact time and the assumptions and the beliefs that
the client went on to develop whenever they went on to develop these beliefs.
Bear in mind it's important though.
We've already established that this person has some sort of negative beliefs to begin with for example
in my country with problems of insecurity or low self-esteem or they might be feeling anxious about
the future or they might feel angry or upset or or fearful or something like that.
And when someone comes to you with some sort of a motion solely based problem we know that emotions
are always going to be determined by whether a person's looking back at the past or far words to the
future.
And this over time is also going to help us to determine the nature of where the beliefs come from.
See for example someone is anxious or fearful of the future.
We know that the VA lourens to be anxious are fearful of a set outcome or something happening in the
future because of scenes of outcomes.
Already at some point in the past or case of people were always naturally projecting forward into the
future expectations based upon experiences that THEM ALREADY HEARD So every decision that people make
there's always well informed based upon the best of the information that they already have.
So all that the purpose of this set of questions is really to establish is to help this on the person
gain a much broader perspective of their life than what they're perhaps previously heard.
Yeah with me too.
So these are a series of 15 questions that can be used to help people find and establish the limiting
beliefs and also where their limiting beliefs actually began.
You're like like me you were my limiting belief.
When I had rolled over and far if that was the first rejection where I began to question whether who
I was as a person was fundamentally good enough in similarity to the elephant when the elephant had
that noose around its neck and fighting and fighting in it because it developed the belief about itself
that it wasn't strong enough to break free from the peg.
When I eventually gave up.
So there's always going to be indications.
And that's kind of what we're looking to source through asking these questions.
Right is a very practical tool but it can have such profound found results for people in terms of insight
and understanding.
But the best thing about this is that you don't actually have to do anything or you really need to do
is facility a conversation.
So it's important one bit of guidance that I offer you here is that if you do go on to ask other people
these questions it's important that you help them answer apart from thoughts opinions feelings and beliefs
and say they all really want you to do current.
When I'm asking you these questions is take a few more minutes to consider the question that I'm asking
you and then answer in just.
One or two words.
So I don't need to understand exactly what it is that you mean by those words but as long as you understand
what you mean by those words this is the most important elements of this questioning process.
It's not for us so much to gain the insight and the understanding is for us just to be nothing more
than really mere conduits conduits through which we are offering a platform of unconditional acceptance
and space through which our clients can just use us to gain whatever insight they need to find.
So Karen I'm going to ask you know to think about a problem that you currently have in your life right
now and this is a question one by the way.
Question one is current was a problem or limitation that's held about for a while.
It may be easier for you to perhaps even close your eyes see and not even necessarily focus on me look
inside of you mainzer just throw out yourself down and focus on.
It might just be a word a person a face a picture that comes to mind.
And once you've got gotta just say one or two words The represents what the problem is for you.
Worry worry worry worry concern yes.
Got it.
So what is it that you would like to do or Harv's except something stopping you from getting it or doing
it.
Whatever that question means for you.
What is it that you would liked.
To be able to do or hearth or get or establish peace peace.
So you want peace that's a goal by the way.
All right.
We've established in the first two questions What was the main problem is.
The problem is worry which is a fear based emotion.
And we've established what the client wants which is peace.
Now bear in mind a worry or fear and peace are both internal goals right now many people will look to
things outside of themselves to fulfil those goals that we've established that curran's main problem
and hurry and go are no living inside of our internally they're just emotional states.
So Curran What is it is really stopping you from getting what you want.
Question three.
What's really stopping you from getting what you want.
Distraction.
Destruction.
Good.
And this is a problem because.
I focus on it because you focus on it good.
And you know what you mean by this good
and this means.
What.
I spend time worrying.
You spend time worrying.
Now you notice what I'm doing here.
I'm not doing anything else to the conversation beyond what Curran is offering.
So I'm just reflecting back and repeating back exactly what kinds seeing.
So for illustration and demonstration purposes here I'm hoping that Curran is able to feel that I'm
actually with our present completely available and paying attention to what she's saying.
We'll discuss this more in the follow up video or just carry on with the questions for now.
So Curran hose has expressed a real concern there she has with worrying.
Soon though she spends more time worrying.
I'm going to ask her again.
And this means.
I feel drained you feel drained.
And this is a problem.
Why.
I don't want to be alive.
You don't want to be like that.
OK.
So tell me this is question sex What must you believe that makes this problem even exist.
I have to focus on these things.
I'm worrying about.
You have to focus on these things that you're worrying about.
Tell me what is it that you believe about yourself that has made this a problem.
I need to control this thing.
You need to control these things.
So tell me what is it that you believe about the world.
It was made this a problem.
I guess that is.
It's not great sometimes and things go wrong.
It's not gross sometimes things go wrong.
No.
Did you tell me or give me an example of what this problem is like.
What's his problem.
Example off.
In terms of the worry.
Was as problem an example off.
Still worrying about what other people think.
Worrying about what other people think.
Tell me what is this an example of.
What could be an example of this for a year.
Worrying about whether.
Worrying about.
If I have offended minor worrying about whether you've offended someone or upset someone you should
be worrying about whether you've got it wrong.
Yes you would be OK.
Tell me when was it annoy for you decided that getting it wrong or offending people was a bad thing.
When did you decide.
Roughly.
When I was quite young about six or seven through six or seven years old.
So we've gone right back to the past and at what point in your life into this concept.
What point did you really buy into this concept that it was there was to offend people and and get it
wrong.
I think it is healthy.
My dad passed away when your dad passed away.
So when you're dad passed away you bought into the concept that it wasn't okay to offend people or get
it wrong.
So accurate.
Yeah that's accurate for you.
So no we're really starting to establish curran's Core limiting beliefs on the deepest level.
So just stay with me here.
Oh tell me what decision did you make.
At some point in your life that caused this problem that you have to even be born or decision did you
make.
I remember making the decision to.
At that point when I lost my dad too.
Take to get right back keep insulting.
So you made a decision around about the time of you losing your dad to keep it all together.
Did you feel bad then.
Keeping it together would be getting it right for other people.
So that was for you grew to believe back then that point of your life when you were much younger.
Yeah.
And is that actually become the main problem for you today that's holding you back from really getting
the things that you really want which is which is peace.
I think the way that other things you worry about.
So this belief they have developed has actually become the misalign genetic this holding you back and
preventing you from getting where you want.
Is that is that true for you.
Yeah it is true for you.
Good.
So tell me this problem this worry.
How does this problem mean to you.
Fears the kindness of feels like a.
Yeah.
Tell me what will your life be like when you no longer have this problem.
A greater degree of freedom and peace a greater degree of freedom and peace.
So if we were to unwind then right.
No you are actually having this.
What would I give you.
Confidence peace confidence and peace which is what you actually want anyway.
Q Thank you very much.
You can open your case.
Right.
So in a roundabout way we asked a series of 15 questions here are meant to help current establish what
it is that she fundamentally believes.
And this belief actually acting as the main noose around her neck is preventing her from getting what
she wants.
So this is the demonstration me encouraging to have a few minutes of conversation off line before jumping
back in front of the camera and then deconstructing this demonstration of the hobby found this interesting.
Look forward to seeing you again in the next clip.